Putting all your political and personal views aside whatever they may be, is there a more perfect real world example of a “Something about your Face” face than this? …
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/Paul_Ryan_official_portrait.jpg
During Alexander’s campaign to conquer Persia, Alexander was known to partake in the fiercest fighting of the major battles. His counterpart, Darius III of Persia, fled the battle field numerous times to preserve his own safety. In fact, he fled so fast in one battle that he left behind his family, who Alexander conveniently captured.
Alexander and Darius III represent the extremes of corporate leadership, obviously with less severe life and death consequences. But make no mistake, which way your leader leans, toward Alexander or Darius III, has significant political and career consequences for your future. When it comes to leadership courage, there is no in the middle here, your boss leans one way or the other.
If your boss leans toward Darius III and lacks the leadership courage to have your back, you need to move on as soon as possible.
A boss that does not get your back is a boss that doesn’t care about you as a professional. A boss that doesn’t get your back is a coward. Cowards don’t take chances. In order to advance in a company, someone has to take a chance on you. In order for someone to take a chance on you they have to believe in you. In order to believe in you a boss has to get to know you and care about your development.
Do you see this binomial self perpetuating cycle? If you don’t have a boss who will take a chance on you, then you don’t have a chance. Find another boss in the company, or leave. It’s okay to take your time with it, but as soon as you know you have a Darius III boss, you should immediately commit to getting the fuck out of there. Every year serving under Darius III is a wasted career year. Trust me, I wasted five and they should have been five of my best years.
All that remains is the timing of leaving. You see, if you just think about leaving or tell yourself I’ll plan on leaving if such and such doesn’t get better, all you are doing is following a strategy of hope. Hope that the situation will change, hope that you boss may get moved on. Remember, cowardly bosses have one objective, survival. They are far more skilled at corporate survival than you, so the probability of hope working as a strategy is very low.
Your cowardly boss will continuously undermine your status and influence. He may not even know he is doing it. But if you have more expertise and some talent, and your boss is insecure as a leader, it’s very likely that he is following a systematic program to undermine you.
How does your boss undermine you? In most large companies today, political correctness is absolute; the days of bosses screaming and publicly humiliating employees are in the past. Here are two examples of how it works. Both are subtle and you won’t even realize it until it’s too late.
Example #1: At the chief boss’s staff meeting, which your boss never misses, someone makes a disparaging remark about you. Because your boss is a coward (assume for purposes of this example that he is not explicitly undermining you), he lets the remark go uncontested. An uncontested grievance is a validation of the grievance. Boom. A negative perception about you is just born. Because this is a staff meeting with all functional heads within the chief boss’ empire present, this (mis)perception mutates across each team represented at that meeting. Seizing the political advantage, the other lieutenant bosses then spread this negative perception to their own teams.
Example #2: You communicate to your boss about a plan to meet one of your stated goals for the year. You have vetted it with your team, gotten buy in from your team, and made the necessary preparations. You inform your boss. Your boss may not demonstrate excitement but he doesn’t reject your plan. To you, that’s a go. You execute, but this is after all, a complicated business and hiccups happen. Your boss has a choice. He can back your plan and help you through it (Alexander), or he can play it safe so that he doesn’t have to put himself on the line and he instructs you to reverse what you have done (Darius III).
In both examples, you have no idea how badly your boss has undermined you until it’s too late. You only realize the subversion at your next annual review. The ancient empires of Greece, Persia and the ones before created many innovative ways to torture miscreants, but even they couldn’t conceive of a more conniving and soul crushing torture than the corporate annual review process.
When you are forced to rate all employees on a single scale, regardless of job responsibilities, the fighting among lieutenant bosses for the limited number of high performers requires impeccable justification. Every boss wants to get high performers, not for the benefit of the employee, but for the benefit that comes from giving out the high rating to the employee. Your cowardly boss will also fight for a minimum number of high ratings on his team because that is what the crowd does. Every other boss fights for her team, so by not fighting for a high performer your boss would stick out, the last thing cowards want to do.
The corporate review process puts tremendous scrutiny and pressure on all bosses to justify all of their performance ratings, even the ones right on the top of the bell curve (for our readership, that means average). Instead of just saying, “Moronovich, you did a fine job but fell just short of the higher rating. Here’s some ideas to give you a shot at the higher rating next year…” your boss rationalizes the shit out of his decision. He looks for reasons why you don’t deserve the higher rating. This bastardization of the process results in an exhaustive focus on finding faults. A talented cowardly boss can conjure up an awesome display of shortcomings for the average employee, and even more for you.
Yes, here comes the lashing! In example #1, “Well, there is a negative perception from some people that you [fill in the blank,…don’t massage other Boss Clyde’s balls enough…or, should have stuck your tongue up Boss Bonnie’s ass before collaborating with her employee.”..you get the picture].
Or in example #2, “You made a significant mistake in your execution of a plan that I didn’t approve, resulting in a lack of trust that will be difficult to overcome.” Fucking ingenious! Did you notice the deviousness? Your boss never gave you explicit approval for your idea. He left himself on out, a way to put a mishap, or even a mere imperfect result, back on you. Of course, he left himself a way to steal your credit for a successful execution as well.
In both examples, this comes as a total shock to you. Where you tried to do good work, now you are made to feel like you did something wrong, or that you wronged someone else. Your boss guises this as just offering constructive feedback and uses corporate buzzwords (we call them “Fuck Words”) like “straight talk” while you wonder where the fuck and who the fuck these perceptions are coming from. You ask, but get no answers in return.
Now you forever despise the review process, you lose any trust you had in your boss and you have a fucking perception problem. And here’s the kick in the shins, your boss actually thinks he is the courageous one by having the balls to bring this to your attention, when he really fucked you over a long time ago. There’s your definition of incompetence.
So now you know you need to move on. But wait, at Akrasiabros, we see the big picture only in hindsight, after we screwed up. And so far, we have only presented half the picture.
You will eventually find yourself on the other side of this situation. Nothing highlights the best strategic battle plan than losing a battle because Darius III was your commander. Here we present your Alexander battle plan.
#1: ALWAYS HAVE YOUR PEOPLES’ BACKS
This applies equally to team leaders and team members. If someone from a different team, in any setting, says something disparaging about one of your people or teammates, even if not maliciously intended (a rarity, but sometimes can happen), immediately plant a contesting flag. Your objective is not to disprove the allegation straightaway. Your aim is not to win this battle, it’s to manipulate your enemy into thinking there is no need for the battle. If you act defensively, you will only strengthen the other’s opinion. Just a few examples for younger employees or new team leaders:
Responding to example #1:
“Thank’s Dick for sharing. I am aware of that situation and that doesn’t really sound like Sally. Let me check into the details and get back to you on that.”
Or…”Oh, I didn’t realize little Johny didn’t have a chance to share his response with you before he sent it. You know what, that’s totally my fault. When I asked him to respond, I was so focused on the importance of getting it out as soon as possible that I totally forgot to have him send it to you before hand. I won’t forget next time.”
Responding to example #2:
“So there were some complications in the execution. Look, I wasn’t clear with you on my priorities for execution, but what do you think of the following ideas?…”
Or… “Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I still think we can get this done. I know Jane over in Department Y, how about I give her a call and see if she can help you?”
You have your peoples’ backs simply by being direct, diplomatic, and professional. Let the other boss have their say without putting them on the defensive, but make it clear that you are contesting their allegation. And when things go wrong,
#2: TAKE THE FUCKING BLAME!
When you do that, you accomplish your objective of misdirecting the original grievance, or you deflect any potential negativity from your team member so they can continue to focus on the main priority.
For you younger talents out there, a good leader will ALWAYS bring these issues to your attention immediately. Even if you screwed up and the accuser is right about your actions, a good leader will immediately offer HELP in coaching the situation and taking corrective action. When you hear about it for the first time in the annual review, at best your boss is a coward, at worst your boss is undermining you. Neither is worthy of your talents and energy.
Alexander’s troops were always outnumbered in virtually every battle during the conquest of Persia. His troops, however, always knew Alexander was there to fight for them. He had their backs. By fleeing battles, Darius III undermined his troops when they most needed leadership. So if you are in the majority of hardworking productive employees and have Darius III as your boss, seek out an Alexander, and work your ass off to find a way to get on his team.
–Moronovich
In case you have been living under a rock or your name is Sean Spicer, you are probably aware of the fact that FOX News Journalist Bill O’Reilly was dismissed by his employer amid a swirl of sexual harassment claims by women who previously worked at FOX.
On April 1, the New York Times reported that FOX had paid five women, who either worked for or appeared on FOX, a combined $13 million to keep them from pursuing litigation or speaking out about sexual harassment accusations against O’Reilly. Since The New York Times article came out, three women represented by attorney Lisa Bloom have also come forward with claims that O’Reilly sexually harassed them. One African-American claimant alleged, among other things, that Mr. O’Reilly referred to her as “Hot Chocolate.”
FOX subsequently dismissed O’Reilly, but not without a massive payout to O’Reilly that has been estimated at approximately $25 million. For those of you keeping track at home, that is roughly $38 million that FOX has paid out to O’Reilly (or for his benefit) stemming from sexual harassment allegations against him.
That bears repeating: 38 million dollars. To compensate Bill O’Reilly for his salacious hobby (1) , FOX news has contributed to Bill O’Reilly’s net worth to the tune of $38 million. By way of contrast, for my seemingly far more innocuous hobby of sitting on the couch and eating nachos and flatulating while watching “Full House” reruns, I am paid exactly $0. But woe is me, have mercy!
Anyways, forget about Mr. O’Reilly for a minute and the feelings of disgust you may feel towards him receiving these payments. Enough has been said about what a schmuck he is, and believe it or not his bad conduct will ultimately cost him financially (he will no longer make his annual salary of approximately $25 million). Rather, I want to analyze this situation from a different perspective, an economic perspective. That’s right, one of the key purposes of this blog is to use our incompetency to educate.
In short, I want to compute the amount that FOX has paid to O’Reilly on a transactional per-harassment basis. Then I want to see how that number compares to other high earners on a transactional basis; in particular, as a sports fan, I want to see how that number compares to what some famous highly-paid athletes are paid on a per-transaction basis for the things they do on the field.
This $38 million that FOX has paid to O’Reilly appears to relate to 8 specific allegations of sexual harassment against him – the five women from the previous settlement and the three to recently come forward. Thus, FOX has paid approximately $4.75 million to O’Reilly on a per-harassment transactional basis for every allegation of harassment. Mr. Reilly’s “Hey Hot Chocolate” and other similar remarks when made to one woman (likely on a repeated basis) results in an economic transaction that can be valued at approximately $4.75 million. One could thus say that the O’Reilly Factor is $4.75 million! Holy Hot Chocolate Batman! Or shall I say FOX-man?
So just how impressive is this Factor? How does $4.75 million compare on a transactional basis to payments made to other high earners? Let us take a closer look. Professional athletes are regarded as some of the highest earners in our society, their salary information is generally available to the public, and their jobs can easily be broken down into certain transactions due to statistics that are kept (unlike, say, corporate executives), so let’s compare this number to some famous high earning athletes. Let’s start with perhaps the most well-known athlete in major sports. Tom Brady is arguably the best QB in the NFL today and the reigning Super Bowl MVP, and is often considered one of the best if not the best QB to ever play the game (2). While Tom Brady’s contract with the New England Patriots is primarily based on signing bonuses and less so on annual salary, we can allocate the signing bonus over the terms of the contract to arrive at an estimation of his annual salary, which computes to an approximate 2016 salary of $14 million. From there, we can break down what Brady does on the field into miscellaneous transactions for which there are statistics. For example, Brady played in 15 games (12 regular season games and three playoff games) attempted 544 passes, had 384 completions, and threw for 35 touchdown. We can then take Brady’s salary and allocate it to these specific transactions: on a per-transaction basis, the Patriots paid Brady $933,333 per game, $25,735 per pass attempt, $36,548 per completion, and $400,000 for every touchdown pass thrown. Pick whichever transaction you think takes approximately the time and effort it takes Mr. O’Reilly to sexually harass a woman and compare!
Let’s look at baseball now, since baseball is generally regarded as the highest paying major sport in America. The highest paid player in 2016 was LA Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw who received a salary of $32 million (3). As we did with Brady in football, we can use baseball statistics to break down Kershaw’s salary and allocate it to specific on-the-field transactions. In 2016, Kershaw appeared in 21 games, pitched 149 innings, faced 544 batters, fired off 2,062 pitches, and recorded 172 strikeouts. On a per-transaction basis, the Dodgers paid him approximately $1,523,809 per appearance, $214,765 per inning, $58,824 per batter faced, $15,519 per pitch, and $186,046 per strike out. The highest paid positional player (non-pitcher) in baseball in 2016 was Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers, who earned $28 million (4). Cabrera had 679 plate appearances (the Tigers paid $41,237 per appearance), recorded 188 hits ($148,936 per hit), drove in 108 RBIs ($259,259 per RBI), and hit 38 home runs ($736,842 per homer) that year. Once again, pick whichever baseball transactions you think take approximately the time and effort it takes Mr. O’Reilly to sexually harass a woman and compare!
I am going to assume for purposes of my own comparison here that it probably took Mr. O’Reilly some time and repeated efforts to make these 8 women feel so completely and totally violated such that they came forward (in other words, it may have taken more than just saying “Hey Hot Chocolate” one time), so I am going to err on the conservative side (no pun intended) and use for my comparison athletic transactions that similarly represent some significant exhaustion of time and efforts before completion. So I am going to use touchdown passes thrown by Brady, home runs hit by Cabrera, and strikeouts by Kershaw. Using those comparisons, the NE Patriots paid Brady approximately $400,000 for every such pass in 2016. FOX paid approximately $4.75 million for every “pass” made by O’Reilly. Every time Miguel Cabrera went deep in 2016, the Detroit Tigers paid Cabrera approximately $736,842, and for every strikeout Kershaw recorded in 2016, the LA Dodgers paid approximately $186,000; every time O’Reilly “went deep” or recorded a “strikeout” with a colleague FOX paid $4.75 million (5).
So comparing on a transactional basis what FOX paid out per-harassment to these athletic accomplishments, the Patriots paid Brady a mere 8 percent of what FOX paid, the Tigers paid Cabrera a mere 15 percent of what FOX paid, and the Dodgers paid Kershaw a mere 4 percent of what FOX paid. Bill O’Reilly is one efficient harasser!
I know some FOX defenders will point out some obvious flaws in the comparisons above. For example, a FOX advocate may point out that FOX was contractually obligated to make the estimated $25 million payment and did not choose to pay O’Reilly for his indiscretions. But this argument does not satisfy me for the simple reason that FOX was well aware of Mr. O’Reilly’s history and made at least 5 settlements on his behalf prior to signing the most recent employment contract with O’Reilly (6). Moreover, in July of 2016, FOX chairman Roger Ailes was dismissed amid widespread allegations of sexual harassment. Based on Mr. O’Reilly’s history and the Ailes scandal, it would not have been unreasonable for FOX to demand that should Mr. O’Reilly engage in any further such conduct, he would not receive a huge giant parachute payment. Instead, FOX guaranteed the $25 million EVEN IF Mr. O’Reilly engaged in such conduct. Way to go FOX!
Other FOX defenders might point out, somewhat ironically, the fact that the $4.75 million number is skewed because it is based solely on known reported cases of harassment. The argument would be that Mr. O’Reilly probably harassed far more woman that never came forward, and even doubling the amount of transactions (from 8 to 16) would greatly reduce the amount paid out on a per-harassment transactional basis. First, are you sure you want to be on that side of the argument?
Second, based on what we know about Mr. O’Reilly, I give this argument great credence; however, for purposes of the comparison to athletes I am comfortable leaving out of the calculation any unpublicized instances of harassment on the ground that the ultimate transactions for which FOX is making these payments are the 8 transactions where women have come forward. To me, this is similar to all the other preparatory work Brady, Cabrera, and Kershaw do prior to the throwing the touchdown, hitting the home run, or striking out the batter that we did not include in those respective per-transaction calculations. For example, Brady practices all week, studies film, and throws many other passes on game days that all culminate in the transaction that we are measuring, the touchdown pass. The same could be said for Cabrera and Kershaw with practices, the numerous other at-bats, hits, outs recorded, etc. prior to the home run or strikeout.
Like these athletes, I fully recognize that O’Reilly probably also exerts significant efforts that go unrecognized in the final transaction being measured – all the disrespectful words and insults, the lascivious looks, and the harassment of woman that do not come forward. So FOX defenders, I assure you the fact that I am not including all of his inappropriate behavior and unpublicized episodes of harassment in the ultimate calculation is in no way intended to be a slight to Mr. O’Reilly by diminishing the vast effort he invariably must put forth on a daily basis! You certainly won’t hear me insinuating that being an NFL quarterback, a professional MLB player, or a serial harasser is not hard work!
Whatever argument FOX defenders want to make to refute the comparisons made above, there is no argument about the bottom line and the point to be made here: FOX paid a shitload of money to an alleged serial sexual harasser. Mr. O’Reilly calls his release from FOX “extremely disheartening,” but what I think is extremely disheartening is the fact that corporations enable this type of behavior (which at FOX appeared to be rampant) and only take action when they run their own calculations and conclude that such behavior will negatively affect their financial bottom line. And you will have to forgive me if I do not feel “extremely disheartened” for Mr. O’Reilly. Maybe it is because I know full well that if you or I were to behave in similar fashion, we would be immediately dismissed by our employers without receiving another single penny. But I am not Bill O’Reilly and I certainly do not have his ratings. So perhaps Mr. O’Reilly should simply be grateful that he was employed by FOX and that for his dismissal he received payments that benefited him to the tune of $38 million dollars. Mr. O’Reilly, you can buy a lot of Hot Chocolate with that kind of money.
-Malarkey
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